Right off the bat let me say this, I love these people so much and this testimony rocked my world. Louis and Jessica are part of our leadership at LOVE DECIDED, and they serve with pure and unadulterated love in the kingdom, with hearts burgeoning with a passion to see people set free from addiction and torment.
Both Louis and Jessica has faced some severe challenges in their past which resulted in a burdened marriage. We asked them to share their journey of discovery and healing with us. It is their biggest desire to use their testimony to help others, to always have a redemptive answer at the ready for those in trouble. One truth that has stood out to me upon first reading their testimonies is the undeniable fact that we have an ever abiding HOPE- Jesus.
They have graciously allowed me to share about what they have both faced and overcome. Theirs is a story of the bravest of hopes in the face of addiction and infidelity. Thank you, Louis and Jessica, for your unwavering dedication to serving each other and your bare-faced, candid honesty with which you have shared.
I want to focus on the testimony, on the light they can shed on the dark places in our hearts fabricated by the lies of need and loneliness. Jessica’s loneliness stemmed from the need of a father, from the lack of feeling appreciated and valued by a dad. She was raped at a young age by a family member, and the degradation of this and the haunting memories of her father’s abuse led her to look for validation in the arms of another man. Louis turned to alcohol to numb the pain, his own and the suffering he witnessed in his wife. I have given them a list of questions with regards to facing addiction and temptation and how to overcome it.
He said: The first thing to do, for anyone with an addiction, is to admit they have a problem, they can then ask for council. It is imperative to have a support system. Realise that what you are doing is not God’s plan for your life.
She said: Ask for help. You need a good support system. And turn to God.
Psalm 62:5-8 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
ON REALIZING YOUR FAULTS
He said: I only realised I had a problem the day it became clear I could lose my wife. Only with the help of God did I stop drinking. I didn’t want to lose the most important thing in my life.
She said: I needed to become broken before God; broken heart and broken life I realised only God can fill the void.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
ON THE PROCESS OF CHANGED ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR
He said: the day I decided to stop drinking I did, but the heart ache I suffered due to my wife’s affair led me to see my own wrongs and the need for change. I had to surrender my life to God fully; completely surrendering control.
She said: I had to get help. I had to receive help for us to process not only the affair but also the rape as well as the effects it had on our marriage. I learned I needed to forgive others, myself, and even God. We didn’t leave each other in the worst of times.
ON LONELINESS AND TEMPTATION
He said: In my lonely time, I speak to God asking Him for advice on different areas of my life. When faced with temptation it is imperative to RUN away, get out! Draw a definite line. Don’t go looking for trouble.
She said: The best way to defeat the negative thoughts is to focus on God. Know your weaknesses, stay within your boundaries. Also, tell your spouse about it.
1Corinthians 10:12-13 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.No temptation has
overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
ON THE PAST
He said: In the beginning I questioned God, “How could you allow this?” How God could let this happen and let me struggle with the consequences. I now know the truth.
She said: At one point I did want to give up. The abuse from my childhood led me to believe that God didn’t care about me. The fact that I gave my heart to God at a young age helped me to not succumb to the lies. You have to hold on to God. Don’t let the lies affect your faith.
ON MAINTAINING FAITHFULNESS
He said: You have to make God your priority. Ask him for guidance.
She said: Some say the person having the affair is not afflicted and doesn’t feel anything. They are WRONG. You feel the hurt and pain and confusion. God, as the father, had to come fill the empty places inside me. I love my husband and never want to hurt him in that way again. Love changes everything.
Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
He said: The physical aspect of marriage was a challenge as to me it was a key component to a successful marriage. I wanted to keep my wife happy.
She said: The physical aspect of marriage. God had to come change my view on sex. I learned that He intended it for good, not evil.
Mark 10:6-8 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
ON THE PRESENT
He said: I now know prayer is the most powerful thing there is, and what you ask of God He will give to you.
She said: At that time I was broken. But when I look back I can see how much I have grown and changed. I am so glad God saved me from the destructive path I was on.
Psalm 145:14 The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.
ON CONFLICT RESOLUTION
He said: I forgive easily and that usually makes me want to address things. We also pray together every night. When there is a problem we will specifically pray about the problem.
She said: I usually avoid it and bottle it up, but I realise it is wrong and need to speak to my husband. We also pray together every night. When there is a problem we will specifically pray about the problem
Ephesians 4:26 -27 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and give no opportunity to the devil.